Read Along: Pride & Prejudice - Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Mr. Bennet's property consisted almost entirely in an estate of two thousand a year, which, unfortunately for his daughters, was entailed, in default of heirs male, on a distant relation;

I want to get away without saying "just like in Downton Abbey!" here because augh, obviously when I watched Downton Abbey and there was all the entail stuff I was delighted to understand what was going on because it was "just like in Pride & Prejudice!". But if you've seen Downton Abbey and this is your first time reading Pride & Prejudice - basically it's the same thing. It's not that women can't inherit any property ever; Anne De Bourgh is the heiress of Rosings Park; but women can't inherit this property.

and their mother's fortune, though ample for her situation in life, could but ill supply the deficiency of his. Her father had been an attorney in Meryton, and had left her four thousand pounds. 

She had a sister married to a Mr. Phillips, who had been a clerk to their father and succeeded him in the business, and a brother settled in London in a respectable line of trade. 

The village of Longbourn was only one mile from Meryton; a most convenient distance for the young ladies, who were usually tempted thither three or four times a week, to pay their duty to their aunt and to a milliner's shop just over the way. 

How great is the word 'thither'? It's super great. Also hats. Are hats this important to everyone? Or do the Bennets just like hats?

The two youngest of the family, Catherine and Lydia, were particularly frequent in these attentions; their minds were more vacant than their sisters', and when nothing better offered, a walk to Meryton was necessary to amuse their morning hours and furnish conversation for the evening; and however bare of news the country in general might be, they always contrived to learn some from their aunt. At present, indeed, they were well supplied both with news and happiness by the recent arrival of a militia regiment in the neighbourhood; it was to remain the whole winter, and Meryton was the headquarters. 

So I know that Mary spends her time reading, philosophising and practicing her music. To me that doesn't seem like a lot to fill up basically all of her time. They can walk to Meryton in like, what, 15-20mins? Even if they go to Meryton every day... what do they do the rest of their time? What to Jane and Elizabeth do at all if they don't feel the need to walk around the corner and gossip with their aunt every day?
As a person with basically no employment at present I have to say that life sounds fairly dull.

Their visits to Mrs. Phillips were now productive of the most interesting intelligence. Every day added something to their knowledge of the officers' names and connections. Their lodgings were not long a secret, and at length they began to know the officers themselves. Mr. Phillips visited them all, and this opened to his nieces a store of felicity unknown before. They could talk of nothing but officers; and Mr. Bingley's large fortune, the mention of which gave animation to their mother, was worthless in their eyes when opposed to the regimentals of an ensign. 

After listening one morning to their effusions on this subject, Mr. Bennet coolly observed: 

"From all that I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest girls in the country. I have suspected it some time, but I am now convinced." 

Catherine was disconcerted, and made no answer; but Lydia, with perfect indifference, continued to express her admiration of Captain Carter, and her hope of seeing him in the course of the day, as he was going the next morning to London. 

"I am astonished, my dear," said Mrs. Bennet, "that you should be so ready to think your own children silly. If I wished to think slightingly of anybody's children, it should not be of my own, however." 

"If my children are silly, I must hope to be always sensible of it." 

"Yes—but as it happens, they are all of them very clever." 

"This is the only point, I flatter myself, on which we do not agree. I had hoped that our sentiments coincided in every particular, but I must so far differ from you as to think our two youngest daughters uncommonly foolish." 

Are they flirting again? I think they're flirting.

"My dear Mr. Bennet, you must not expect such girls to have the sense of their father and mother. When they get to our age, I dare say they will not think about officers any more than we do. I remember the time when I liked a red coat myself very well—and, indeed, so I do still at my heart; and if a smart young colonel, with five or six thousand a year, should want one of my girls I shall not say nay to him; and I thought Colonel Forster looked very becoming the other night at Sir William's in his regimentals." 

"Mamma," cried Lydia, "my aunt says that Colonel Forster and Captain Carter do not go so often to Miss Watson's as they did when they first came; she sees them now very often standing in Clarke's library." 

Mrs. Bennet was prevented replying by the entrance of the footman with a note for Miss Bennet; it came from Netherfield, and the servant waited for an answer. Mrs. Bennet's eyes sparkled with pleasure, and she was eagerly calling out, while her daughter read, 

"Well, Jane, who is it from? What is it about? What does he say? Well, Jane, make haste and tell us; make haste, my love." 

"It is from Miss Bingley," said Jane, and then read it aloud. 

"MY DEAR FRIEND,— 

"If you are not so compassionate as to dine to-day with Louisa and me, we shall be in danger of hating each other for the rest of our lives, for a whole day's tete-a-tete between two women can never end without a quarrel. Come as soon as you can on receipt of this. My brother and the gentlemen are to dine with the officers.—Yours ever, 

"CAROLINE BINGLEY" 

 Speaking of being bored, Miss Bingley's invitation to Jane is not very nice. Jane seems like a very nice person - everyone likes her: she's kind and sweet and intelligent and pretty. Caroline basically says she's bored and wants Jane to come and make sure she doesn't argue with her sister. She couldn't even pretend that it was about Jane? Or would that be too forward and creepy? I just don't know.

"With the officers!" cried Lydia. "I wonder my aunt did not tell us of that." 

"Dining out," said Mrs. Bennet, "that is very unlucky." 

"Can I have the carriage?" said Jane. 

"No, my dear, you had better go on horseback, because it seems likely to rain; and then you must stay all night." 

"That would be a good scheme," said Elizabeth, "if you were sure that they would not offer to send her home." 

"Oh! but the gentlemen will have Mr. Bingley's chaise to go to Meryton, and the Hursts have no horses to theirs." 

"I had much rather go in the coach." 

"But, my dear, your father cannot spare the horses, I am sure. They are wanted in the farm, Mr. Bennet, are they not?" 

"They are wanted in the farm much oftener than I can get them." 

"But if you have got them to-day," said Elizabeth, "my mother's purpose will be answered." 

She did at last extort from her father an acknowledgment that the horses were engaged. Jane was therefore obliged to go on horseback, and her mother attended her to the door with many cheerful prognostics of a bad day. Her hopes were answered; Jane had not been gone long before it rained hard. Her sisters were uneasy for her, but her mother was delighted. The rain continued the whole evening without intermission; Jane certainly could not come back. 

This makes me sad because Jane wanted to go in the carriage, but apparently what she wanted was irrelevant and it seems like everyone ganged up on her.

"This was a lucky idea of mine, indeed!" said Mrs. Bennet more than once, as if the credit of making it rain were all her own. Till the next morning, however, she was not aware of all the felicity of her contrivance. Breakfast was scarcely over when a servant from Netherfield brought the following note for Elizabeth:  

"MY DEAREST LIZZY,— 

"I find myself very unwell this morning, which, I suppose, is to be imputed to my getting wet through yesterday. My kind friends will not hear of my returning till I am better. They insist also on my seeing Mr. Jones—therefore do not be alarmed if you should hear of his having been to me—and, excepting a sore throat and headache, there is not much the matter with me.—Yours, etc." 

"Well, my dear," said Mr. Bennet, when Elizabeth had read the note aloud, "if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness—if she should die, it would be a comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr. Bingley, and under your orders." 

"Oh! I am not afraid of her dying. People do not die of little trifling colds. She will be taken good care of. As long as she stays there, it is all very well. I would go and see her if I could have the carriage." 

Mrs Bennet wouldn't go on horseback >:(

Elizabeth, feeling really anxious, was determined to go to her, though the carriage was not to be had; and as she was no horsewoman, walking was her only alternative. She declared her resolution. 

"How can you be so silly," cried her mother, "as to think of such a thing, in all this dirt! You will not be fit to be seen when you get there." 

"I shall be very fit to see Jane—which is all I want." 

"Is this a hint to me, Lizzy," said her father, "to send for the horses?" 

We see that they can have the horses, if they want them. Jane could have had them yesterday. And it's not like Jane was just being a total doormat or anything: Jane asked for the carriage, when told she ought to go on horseback she said very clearly that she would prefer to have the carriage. How much insisting was she supposed to do? Lizzy gets offered the carriage when she declares her intention to walk. Mrs Bennet decided what she wanted and Lizzy basically colluded with her to get Mr Bennet to refuse the horses. Ugh. I basically hate everyone right now. Why did both Lizzy and Mr Bennet just totally ignore Jane's very clear requests? Ugh. I think there was just no way for Jane to win this one.

Later in the novel Lydia will refuse to back down from getting what she wants and we'll see how much respect that gets her (hint: not a lot).

"No, indeed, I do not wish to avoid the walk. The distance is nothing when one has a motive; only three miles. I shall be back by dinner." 

"I admire the activity of your benevolence," observed Mary, "but every impulse of feeling should be guided by reason; and, in my opinion, exertion should always be in proportion to what is required." 

3 miles is 4.8km. When I was preparing these notes my husband and I were on a train and I asked him how far 3 miles was. He answered "4.82km" almost immediately. This is what they teach you in the Navy, folks. So at a fairly brisk walking pace that is 48min. For most people it's probably near on an hour. It seems clear from the narrative that this is a long way for her to walk and that doing so is rather eccentric of her.

"We will go as far as Meryton with you," said Catherine and Lydia. Elizabeth accepted their company, and the three young ladies set off together. 

"If we make haste," said Lydia, as they walked along, "perhaps we may see something of Captain Carter before he goes." 

In Meryton they parted; the two youngest repaired to the lodgings of one of the officers' wives, and Elizabeth continued her walk alone, crossing field after field at a quick pace, jumping over stiles and springing over puddles with impatient activity, and finding herself at last within view of the house, with weary ankles, dirty stockings, and a face glowing with the warmth of exercise. 

She was shown into the breakfast-parlour, where all but Jane were assembled, and where her appearance created a great deal of surprise.

I wonder if it means anything that the hours are quite different between the two houses. I guess this is a house full of twenty-somethings instead of a family but Elizabeth finished her breakfast, then walked for an hour and here they are at Netherfield still going at it. Guess the young people stay up later and get up later or something? Is it significant?

That she should have walked three miles so early in the day, in such dirty weather, and by herself, was almost incredible to Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley; and Elizabeth was convinced that they held her in contempt for it. She was received, however, very politely by them; and in their brother's manners there was something better than politeness; there was good humour and kindness. Mr. Darcy said very little, and Mr. Hurst nothing at all. The former was divided between admiration of the brilliancy which exercise had given to her complexion, and doubt as to the occasion's justifying her coming so far alone. The latter was thinking only of his breakfast. 

Her inquiries after her sister were not very favourably answered. Miss Bennet had slept ill, and though up, was very feverish, and not well enough to leave her room. Elizabeth was glad to be taken to her immediately; and Jane, who had only been withheld by the fear of giving alarm or inconvenience from expressing in her note how much she longed for such a visit, was delighted at her entrance. She was not equal, however, to much conversation, and when Miss Bingley left them together, could attempt little besides expressions of gratitude for the extraordinary kindness she was treated with. Elizabeth silently attended her. 

Well given that when Jane does ask for what she wants she's basically ignored, it seems unsurprising to me that she learns not to do it SADFACE

When breakfast was over they were joined by the sisters; and Elizabeth began to like them herself, when she saw how much affection and solicitude they showed for Jane. The apothecary came, and having examined his patient, said, as might be supposed, that she had caught a violent cold, and that they must endeavour to get the better of it; advised her to return to bed, and promised her some draughts. The advice was followed readily, for the feverish symptoms increased, and her head ached acutely. Elizabeth did not quit her room for a moment; nor were the other ladies often absent; the gentlemen being out, they had, in fact, nothing to do elsewhere. 

Again, Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst see Jane as a good cure for boredom.

When the clock struck three, Elizabeth felt that she must go, and very unwillingly said so. Miss Bingley offered her the carriage, and she only wanted a little pressing to accept it, when Jane testified such concern in parting with her, that Miss Bingley was obliged to convert the offer of the chaise to an invitation to remain at Netherfield for the present. Elizabeth most thankfully consented, and a servant was dispatched to Longbourn to acquaint the family with her stay and bring back a supply of clothes.

I'm not going to pretend that Downton Abbey is perfect (it seems to mostly be about men making terrible decisions all over the place and women doing most of the suffering for it and honestly I just can't bring myself to care very much about whether some dude that has run out of money multiple times, mostly because he makes terrible decisions about things, gets to keep his big shiny house or not) but one of the things I do like about it is that the servants are all people which seems to be a very modern thing to do in stories - Downton Abbey isn't the first or only story where servants get to be characters, but it's the one I actually watch. Servants are mentioned several times in this book, they're all over the place delivering messages and letters, cooking the food, doing their hair, being in houses by the end of weeks and very few of them even get names (the only ones I can think of are Mrs Hill, the housekeeper, who is mentioned three times, and Sarah one of the maids who is mentioned once). They're generally just "a servant". Three servants have been mentioned in just this chapter: were they three different servants?

Review: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

I pretty much feel unqualified to review this book because I have, as they say on the tumblrs, "all the feels".

I generally cry reading books - even happy ones, but usually it's that slightly glamorous, dabbing eyes with a tissue crying. Two books in my life have made me do more than weep after they ended: to actually vocally cry out in emotional pain.

The first was Bilgewater by Jane Gardam which I read in (I think) year 10 for literature class. I read the whole thing in one evening and then suffered through half a semester of my classmates not appreciating the book like I did.

The second was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and I know it's fashionable these days to hate on Harry Potter or to see the books as guilty pleasures, but I feel like I'm too old to feel bad about anything I like these days, so there.

I was two-thirds of the way through The Fault in Our Stars by John Green when my husband took my e-Reader from my hands in order to hold me and I sobbed into his shoulder but really I just wanted to get back to the book, which I then did.

Then when I looked the book up online it turns out that the author is one of those people I see GIFs of on tumblr waving his arms around and saying stuff, so there you go.

So this review hasn't really been about the book, I realise, let's just say that I really really liked it.

Read Along: Pride & Prejudice - Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

The ladies of Longbourn soon waited on those of Netherfield. The visit was soon returned in due form. Miss Bennet's pleasing manners grew on the goodwill of Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley; and though the mother was found to be intolerable, and the younger sisters not worth speaking to, a wish of being better acquainted with them was expressed towards the two eldest. By Jane, this attention was received with the greatest pleasure, but Elizabeth still saw superciliousness in their treatment of everybody, hardly excepting even her sister, and could not like them; though their kindness to Jane, such as it was, had a value as arising in all probability from the influence of their brother's admiration.

Given later events I suspect that Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley do not like Jane just because their brother does... I think they're just bored and think everyone else sucks even more.

It was generally evident whenever they met, that he did admire her and to her it was equally evident that Jane was yielding to the preference which she had begun to entertain for him from the first, and was in a way to be very much in love; but she considered with pleasure that it was not likely to be discovered by the world in general, since Jane united, with great strength of feeling, a composure of temper and a uniform cheerfulness of manner which would guard her from the suspicions of the impertinent. She mentioned this to her friend Miss Lucas. 

"It may perhaps be pleasant," replied Charlotte, "to be able to impose on the public in such a case; but it is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of fixing him; and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark. There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment, that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all begin freely—a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten a women had better show more affection than she feels. Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly; but he may never do more than like her, if she does not help him on." 

Charlotte gives flirting lessons.

"But she does help him on, as much as her nature will allow. If I can perceive her regard for him, he must be a simpleton, indeed, not to discover it too." 

"Remember, Eliza, that he does not know Jane's disposition as you do." 

"But if a woman is partial to a man, and does not endeavour to conceal it, he must find it out." 

This is, in my experience, not actually true. I had an enormous crush on a young man once and he... had no idea. I flirted and made all sorts of excuses to spend more time with him and gazed at him adoringly across rooms and when I finally worked up the courage to ask him out he was super super surprised because he had no idea at all (6.5 years later we got married. hooray!). So I'm going to side with Charlotte here.

"Perhaps he must, if he sees enough of her. But, though Bingley and Jane meet tolerably often, it is never for many hours together; and, as they always see each other in large mixed parties, it is impossible that every moment should be employed in conversing together. Jane should therefore make the most of every half-hour in which she can command his attention. When she is secure of him, there will be more leisure for falling in love as much as she chooses." 

"Your plan is a good one," replied Elizabeth, "where nothing is in question but the desire of being well married, and if I were determined to get a rich husband, or any husband, I dare say I should adopt it. But these are not Jane's feelings; she is not acting by design. As yet, she cannot even be certain of the degree of her own regard nor of its reasonableness. She has known him only a fortnight. She danced four dances with him at Meryton; she saw him one morning at his own house, and has since dined with him in company four times. This is not quite enough to make her understand his character." 

"Not as you represent it. Had she merely dined with him, she might only have discovered whether he had a good appetite; but you must remember that four evenings have also been spent together—and four evenings may do a great deal." 

"Yes; these four evenings have enabled them to ascertain that they both like Vingt-un better than Commerce; but with respect to any other leading characteristic, I do not imagine that much has been unfolded." 

Vingt-un is totally blackjack. I don't know what Commerce is but presumably another card game.

"Well," said Charlotte, "I wish Jane success with all my heart; and if she were married to him to-morrow, I should think she had as good a chance of happiness as if she were to be studying his character for a twelvemonth. Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life." 

I've read theories before that Charlotte is a lesbian but my own theory is that she's asexual (and aromantic). Unlike Mary, her plain looks don't seem to be a source of angst to her and it's not like she has no idea of the goings on between men and women. It just doesn't seem like the whole love thing is something she does herself or understands on a personal level.

"You make me laugh, Charlotte; but it is not sound. You know it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself." 

Occupied in observing Mr. Bingley's attentions to her sister, Elizabeth was far from suspecting that she was herself becoming an object of some interest in the eyes of his friend. Mr. Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty; he had looked at her without admiration at the ball; and when they next met, he looked at her only to criticise. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she hardly had a good feature in her face, than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying. Though he had detected with a critical eye more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form, he was forced to acknowledge her figure to be light and pleasing; and in spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world, he was caught by their easy playfulness. Of this she was perfectly unaware; to her he was only the man who made himself agreeable nowhere, and who had not thought her handsome enough to dance with. 

He began to wish to know more of her, and as a step towards conversing with her himself, attended to her conversation with others. His doing so drew her notice. It was at Sir William Lucas's, where a large party were assembled. 

So he's basically too shy to talk to her himself so he just stands near her and listens to her conversations with other people. That's... creepy. I bet he just imagines things he's interjecting and imagines that she laughs at his jokes.

"What does Mr. Darcy mean," said she to Charlotte, "by listening to my conversation with Colonel Forster?" 

"That is a question which Mr. Darcy only can answer." 

"But if he does it any more I shall certainly let him know that I see what he is about. He has a very satirical eye, and if I do not begin by being impertinent myself, I shall soon grow afraid of him." 

'I guess I better tell him to piss off because he's beginning to creep me out'. Augh! Why did I ever start reading this book so closely, it's starting to get weird and unpleasant.

On his approaching them soon afterwards, though without seeming to have any intention of speaking, Miss Lucas defied her friend to mention such a subject to him; which immediately provoking Elizabeth to do it, she turned to him and said:

He came toward them but wasn't going to say anything. Just stand nearby. What.

"Did you not think, Mr. Darcy, that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now, when I was teasing Colonel Forster to give us a ball at Meryton?" 

And I guess from Darcy's point of view his strategy has succeeded as she's now having an actual conversation with him!

"With great energy; but it is always a subject which makes a lady energetic." 

"You are severe on us." 

"It will be her turn soon to be teased," said Miss Lucas. "I am going to open the instrument, Eliza, and you know what follows." 

"You are a very strange creature by way of a friend!—always wanting me to play and sing before anybody and everybody! If my vanity had taken a musical turn, you would have been invaluable; but as it is, I would really rather not sit down before those who must be in the habit of hearing the very best performers." On Miss Lucas's persevering, however, she added, "Very well, if it must be so, it must." And gravely glancing at Mr. Darcy, "There is a fine old saying, which everybody here is of course familiar with: 'Keep your breath to cool your porridge'; and I shall keep mine to swell my song." 

Her performance was pleasing, though by no means capital. After a song or two, and before she could reply to the entreaties of several that she would sing again, she was eagerly succeeded at the instrument by her sister Mary, who having, in consequence of being the only plain one in the family, worked hard for knowledge and accomplishments, was always impatient for display. 

 I find it interesting that there really does seem to be an objective standard of beauty and a distinct line between people who are handsome and people who are plain. Mary and Charlotte are plain. Pretty much all the other women who have been described are handsome. Jane is the prettiest ever. I suppose that Darcy does describe Elizabeth as merely tolerable but I suspect that was mostly to get out of dancing with her. Also because he's a hater. I like hater!Darcy way better than creeper!Darcy though.

Mary had neither genius nor taste; and though vanity had given her application, it had given her likewise a pedantic air and conceited manner, which would have injured a higher degree of excellence than she had reached. Elizabeth, easy and unaffected, had been listened to with much more pleasure, though not playing half so well; and Mary, at the end of a long concerto, was glad to purchase praise and gratitude by Scotch and Irish airs, at the request of her younger sisters, who, with some of the Lucases, and two or three officers, joined eagerly in dancing at one end of the room. 

Mr. Darcy stood near them in silent indignation at such a mode of passing the evening, to the exclusion of all conversation, and was too much engrossed by his thoughts to perceive that Sir William Lucas was his neighbour, till Sir William thus began: 

It's funny that he's cross about conversation being excluded from the evening when it's been pointed out that he doesn't really talk much except when he's around people he already knows super well and he's walking around approaching people that he has no intention of actually speaking to. I guess he doesn't want to talk, he just wants to listen to Elizabeth talk to other people.

"What a charming amusement for young people this is, Mr. Darcy! There is nothing like dancing after all. I consider it as one of the first refinements of polished society." 

"Certainly, sir; and it has the advantage also of being in vogue amongst the less polished societies of the world. Every savage can dance." 

Sir William only smiled. "Your friend performs delightfully," he continued after a pause, on seeing Bingley join the group; "and I doubt not that you are an adept in the science yourself, Mr. Darcy." 

"You saw me dance at Meryton, I believe, sir." 

"Yes, indeed, and received no inconsiderable pleasure from the sight. Do you often dance at St. James's?" 

"Never, sir." 

"Do you not think it would be a proper compliment to the place?" 

"It is a compliment which I never pay to any place if I can avoid it." 

"You have a house in town, I conclude?" 

Mr. Darcy bowed. 

"I had once had some thought of fixing in town myself—for I am fond of superior society; but I did not feel quite certain that the air of London would agree with Lady Lucas." 

He paused in hopes of an answer; but his companion was not disposed to make any; and Elizabeth at that instant moving towards them, he was struck with the action of doing a very gallant thing, and called out to her: 

'I'm bored of this conversation, so I'm just going to stop talking'. Mr Darcy would make a good Bennet.

"My dear Miss Eliza, why are you not dancing? Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure when so much beauty is before you." And, taking her hand, he would have given it to Mr. Darcy who, though extremely surprised, was not unwilling to receive it, when she instantly drew back, and said with some discomposure to Sir William: 

"Indeed, sir, I have not the least intention of dancing. I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner." 

Mr. Darcy, with grave propriety, requested to be allowed the honour of her hand, but in vain. Elizabeth was determined; nor did Sir William at all shake her purpose by his attempt at persuasion. 

"You excel so much in the dance, Miss Eliza, that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you; and though this gentleman dislikes the amusement in general, he can have no objection, I am sure, to oblige us for one half-hour." 

"Mr. Darcy is all politeness," said Elizabeth, smiling. 

"He is, indeed; but, considering the inducement, my dear Miss Eliza, we cannot wonder at his complaisance—for who would object to such a partner?" 

Who indeed? Ouch.

Elizabeth looked archly, and turned away. Her resistance had not injured her with the gentleman, and he was thinking of her with some complacency, when thus accosted by Miss Bingley: 

"I can guess the subject of your reverie." 

"I should imagine not." 

"You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner—in such society; and indeed I am quite of your opinion. I was never more annoyed! The insipidity, and yet the noise—the nothingness, and yet the self-importance of all those people! What would I give to hear your strictures on them!" 

"Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow." 

Miss Bingley immediately fixed her eyes on his face, and desired he would tell her what lady had the credit of inspiring such reflections. Mr. Darcy replied with great intrepidity: 

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet." 

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet!" repeated Miss Bingley. "I am all astonishment. How long has she been such a favourite?—and pray, when am I to wish you joy?" 

Wishing people joy, is apparently what people do when people get married.

"That is exactly the question which I expected you to ask. A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. I knew you would be wishing me joy." 

"Nay, if you are serious about it, I shall consider the matter is absolutely settled. You will be having a charming mother-in-law, indeed; and, of course, she will always be at Pemberley with you." 

He listened to her with perfect indifference while she chose to entertain herself in this manner; and as his composure convinced her that all was safe, her wit flowed long.

So how is the Read Along schedule working out for you folks so far? At one chapter a week it's going to take us over a year to get through the book; are you all going to get bored and leave me? I'm pretty sure that I can keep a regular pace at once a week, more frequently than that may get a bit spotty. Would that bother you? Would more than once a week be too much to keep up with? What is the relative importance of frequency vs regularity?

Anyway a big thanks to everyone who is reading and especially the people who comment. Yay comments. I'm really enjoying this series so far and I really hope you are too!

Read Along: Pride & Prejudice - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Within a short walk of Longbourn lived a family with whom the Bennets were particularly intimate. Sir William Lucas had been formerly in trade in Meryton, where he had made a tolerable fortune, and risen to the honour of knighthood by an address to the king during his mayoralty. The distinction had perhaps been felt too strongly. It had given him a disgust to his business, and to his residence in a small market town; and, in quitting them both, he had removed with his family to a house about a mile from Meryton, denominated from that period Lucas Lodge, where he could think with pleasure of his own importance, and, unshackled by business, occupy himself solely in being civil to all the world. For, though elated by his rank, it did not render him supercilious; on the contrary, he was all attention to everybody. By nature inoffensive, friendly, and obliging, his presentation at St. James's had made him courteous.

And yet we are supposed to believe that in general they visit no newcomers? Hmmmm?

Lady Lucas was a very good kind of woman, not too clever to be a valuable neighbour to Mrs. Bennet. They had several children. The eldest of them, a sensible, intelligent young woman, about twenty-seven, was Elizabeth's intimate friend. 

(She's also not pretty. So much so that according to Mrs Bennet nobody can admire her :| I like to think that she doesn't actually care about that though because she's totally awesome)

That the Miss Lucases and the Miss Bennets should meet to talk over a ball was absolutely necessary; and the morning after the assembly brought the former to Longbourn to hear and to communicate. 

"You began the evening well, Charlotte," said Mrs. Bennet with civil self-command to Miss Lucas. "You were Mr. Bingley's first choice." 

"Yes; but he seemed to like his second better." 

"Oh! you mean Jane, I suppose, because he danced with her twice. To be sure that did seem as if he admired her—indeed I rather believe he did—I heard something about it—but I hardly know what—something about Mr. Robinson." 

URGH MRS BENNET

"Perhaps you mean what I overheard between him and Mr. Robinson; did not I mention it to you? Mr. Robinson's asking him how he liked our Meryton assemblies, and whether he did not think there were a great many pretty women in the room, and which he thought the prettiest? and his answering immediately to the last question: 'Oh! the eldest Miss Bennet, beyond a doubt; there cannot be two opinions on that point.'" 

"Upon my word! Well, that is very decided indeed—that does seem as if—but, however, it may all come to nothing, you know." 

"My overhearings were more to the purpose than yours, Eliza," said Charlotte. "Mr. Darcy is not so well worth listening to as his friend, is he?—poor Eliza!—to be only just tolerable." 

Go Charlotte, change the subject! Isn't Charlotte great? So it seems like Elizabeth's family all call her 'Lizzy' (even when referring to her to people outside the family) but her friends - even very good ones, call her Eliza. That seems odd to me. Does that seem odd to anyone else?

"I beg you would not put it into Lizzy's head to be vexed by his ill-treatment, for he is such a disagreeable man, that it would be quite a misfortune to be liked by him. Mrs. Long told me last night that he sat close to her for half-an-hour without once opening his lips." 

"Are you quite sure, ma'am?—is not there a little mistake?" said Jane. "I certainly saw Mr. Darcy speaking to her." 

"Aye—because she asked him at last how he liked Netherfield, and he could not help answering her; but she said he seemed quite angry at being spoke to." 

"Miss Bingley told me," said Jane, "that he never speaks much, unless among his intimate acquaintances. With them he is remarkably agreeable." 

Mr Darcy is shy. Discuss.

"I do not believe a word of it, my dear. If he had been so very agreeable, he would have talked to Mrs. Long. But I can guess how it was; everybody says that he is eat up with pride, and I dare say he had heard somehow that Mrs. Long does not keep a carriage, and had come to the ball in a hack chaise." 

The internet tells me that a hack chaise is the equivalent to a taxi.

"I do not mind his not talking to Mrs. Long," said Miss Lucas, "but I wish he had danced with Eliza." 

"Another time, Lizzy," said her mother, "I would not dance with him, if I were you." 

"I believe, ma'am, I may safely promise you never to dance with him." 

HAHA. Actually I won't laugh because she doesn't want to.

"His pride," said Miss Lucas, "does not offend me so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, everything in his favour, should think highly of himself. If I may so express it, he has a right to be proud." 

It's interesting to notice that at this point in the novel both Jane and Charlotte are pretty much on Team Darcy. Charlotte doesn't approve of his refusal to dance with Elizabeth but the other main argument against him - not being buddybuddy with Mrs Long - isn't a dealbreaker.

"That is very true," replied Elizabeth, "and I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine." 

"Pride," observed Mary, who piqued herself upon the solidity of her reflections, "is a very common failing, I believe. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed; that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary. Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us." 

"If I were as rich as Mr. Darcy," cried a young Lucas, who came with his sisters, "I should not care how proud I was. I would keep a pack of foxhounds, and drink a bottle of wine a day." 

Remind me of this bit about drinking a bottle of wine a day when we get around to reading Northanger Abbey together.

"Then you would drink a great deal more than you ought," said Mrs. Bennet; "and if I were to see you at it, I should take away your bottle directly." 

The boy protested that she should not; she continued to declare that she would, and the argument ended only with the visit.

I kind of enjoy this image of Mrs Bennet arguing with a child about wine. 

Review: Gelato Messina

Unless you want ice-cream to be ruined forever, I don't suggest you visit Gelato Messina. No, let me rephrase that, You do want ice-cream to be ruined forever and you should visit Gelato Messina because it will be totally worth it.

Gelato Messina is the best ice-cream* I have ever eaten. Lured in by my friend Lap's Internet Research we headed up to Gelato Messina one Tuesday evening and life (at least the ice-cream eating portion of it) has not been the same since. My husband and I ate there three times in four days and four times in less than a week. We're limiting ourselves to once a week from now on. On our way we were told that Gelato Messina had been declared the best ice-cream in Sydney, we've told all our friends that it's the best ice-cream we've ever eaten and so far nobody has been disappointed.

I have to admit that even in four visits I haven't sampled many of their flavours; that's because the Whitehaven (caramelised white chocolate and sea salt) was so incredible that it caused pleasure-flashbacks for days and I'm not game to try a visit without it in case I'm disappointed. You might point out that I could find a flavour that is even better than Whitehaven but I am sort of afraid of that possibility because I'm not sure that I would survive.

I generally sort of see food as a vehicle for salt so it's not surprising that the salty flavour is my favourite. Your milage, and interest in salty sweets, may vary.


Every other flavour I've sampled or eaten has been absolutely phenomenal as well and the people I've been with who have not ordered whitehaven (ie: nearly all of them, apparently my desire for salty deserts is not widely shared) have still appeared almost paralytic with pleasure so basically you can't go wrong.

The apple pie and cheesecake flavours are particularly amazing. I can't even imagine an apple pie as delicious as the apple pie ice-cream, for example. So there's that.

Their sorbets are dairy free, so non-dairy eaters can be catered for. YAY!

DARLINGHURST STORE Shop 1/241 Victoria St, Darlinghurst NSW 2010 Opening times Sunday to Thursday: 12pm to 11pm Friday and Saturday: 12pm to 11.30pm THE CREATIVE DEPARTMENT- Laboratorio and Patisserie243 Victoria St, Darlinghurst NSW 2010 Opening timesMonday to Saturday: 12pm to 10pm Sunday: 12pm to 7pm
THE STAR STORE Cafe Court, Level G, 80 Pyrmont Street, Pyrmont NSW 2009 Opening times Monday to Thursday: 11am to 11pm Friday and Saturday: 11am to 11.30pm Sunday: 11am-11pm
SURRY HILLS STORE 389 Crown St, Surry Hills NSW 2010 Opening times Sunday to Thursday: 12pm to 10.30pm Friday and Saturday: 12pm to 11.30pm

I'm kind of getting goosebumps right now and my mouth is watering... do you think it's too late to go out for ice-cream?



* Gelato is totally a type of ice-cream, I have no interest in being a nitpicker here because I am too overwhelmed by the memories of this delicious creamy icy goodness.

Review: Elementary

There's been a fair amount of wank/controversy/silliness over the new Sherlock Holmes adaption, Elementary.

I really enjoy the BBC series Sherlock and given that Elementary and Sherlock are both modern adaptions of Sherlock Holmes comparisons are inevitable. After watching six episodes of Elementary so far I think Elementary is edging out as my favourite Sherlock Holmes adaption where they aren't mice.

I really enjoy Lucy Liu's Joan Watson - I'm disappointed that with the gender swap they felt like they also had to alter the military background, but having more ladies in important, non-sexualised roles is rarely something I'll object to. She's clever! She's sassy! She tells Sherlock off when he's crossing her boundaries, and calls him out when he tries to take credit for everything. She's single, it doesn't seem like she's super thrilled about that but she's not in a rush to change it either.

She is not (and OH I REALLY HOPE THIS NEVER CHANGES PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) in love with Sherlock and he is not in love with her. They, due to Watson's position as his Sober Companion, spend more than 2 hrs apart at any time and yet six episodes in neither of them appear to have any interest in undressing the other and watching a man and a woman grow a friendship that doesn't involve any angst is really quite awesome and I didn't know how much I wanted this until I saw it. Don't get me wrong - I really love me some UST, but sometimes people of different genders can just be pals, you know?

I've recently finished A Study in Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and I'm part-way through A Sign of Four and even though I've been watching Elementary recently and it's been a while since I've seen Sherlock I definitely see Benedict Cumberbatch's Holmes in my head while reading the novels. That said, I think I like Johnny Lee Miller's Holmes better. People have said that Miller's Holmes is more 'human' and then other people have said that saying so is ableist because they read Cumberbatch's Holmes as being on the autism spectrum: I don't particularly want to get into that debate, but if I had to use small words 'More Human' seems like a good way to explain the difference.

Cumberbatch's Holmes intellect and skills seem superhuman. He's like a superhero (or supervillain, perhaps) and I think that's pretty faithful to the novels. I think Watson is the character we're supposed to identify with and we, with Watson, stand around in awe of Holmes' incredible brilliance. Elementary brings Holmes down to earth a bit more: he's clever, certainly. Incredibly observant but he's... just a guy. An insufferable, jerky, drug addicted, lonely guy.

My favourite part of these kinds of shows is the mystery/whodunnit aspect, and Elementary does that well. Sherlock does too... for two episodes out of every three. It seems to spend the third episode of each series in some kind of boring Moriarty story which basically does nothing for me (I don't particularly care for the "Chaotic Evil" flavour of villain. Give me some better motivation than "he's insane and evil", please!). Elementary, so far, has stuck to the whodunnit formula and while it may very well have less formulaic episodes later in the series right now I'm really enjoying the formula.

Sherlock's wrong about things. It's a Sherlock Holmes show basically there's a crime and then Sherlock has a theory that everything thinks is ridiculous and then he turns out to be... right about some things but completely wrong about others. He's just this guy, you know?

Anyway if you like Sherlock Holmes adaptions and CSI hasn't put you off crime shows forever I really recommend Elementary. Also the music (by Zoe Keating! Yay!) is rad.

Read Along: Pride & Prejudice - Chapter 4

Very few comments today, I'm afraid. I just don't really have a lot to say about this chapter. Anyone else got any thoughts?

Chapter 4 

When Jane and Elizabeth were alone, the former, who had been cautious in her praise of Mr. Bingley before, expressed to her sister just how very much she admired him. 

I identify very much with Jane here - I don't like to talk about how much I like people either in case I am wrong and everyone else thinks they're terrible. Sigh. I am working on it. I'm glad Jane has Lizzy who she feels comfortable giving her real opinion to, though!

"He is just what a young man ought to be," said she, "sensible, good-humoured, lively; and I never saw such happy manners!—so much ease, with such perfect good breeding!"

Once again I don't... really know what this means. What are 'happy manners'? What does 'perfect good breeding' mean when you are talking about a grown man? I feel like about half the descriptions of people in this book are opaque to me.  Lucky I still like it.

"He is also handsome," replied Elizabeth, "which a young man ought likewise to be, if he possibly can. His character is thereby complete." 

"I was very much flattered by his asking me to dance a second time. I did not expect such a compliment." 

"Did not you? I did for you. But that is one great difference between us. Compliments always take you by surprise, and me never. What could be more natural than his asking you again? He could not help seeing that you were about five times as pretty as every other woman in the room. No thanks to his gallantry for that. Well, he certainly is very agreeable, and I give you leave to like him. You have liked many a stupider person." 

"Dear Lizzy!" 

"Oh! you are a great deal too apt, you know, to like people in general. You never see a fault in anybody. All the world are good and agreeable in your eyes. I never heard you speak ill of a human being in your life." 

"I would not wish to be hasty in censuring anyone; but I always speak what I think." 

"I know you do; and it is that which makes the wonder. With your good sense, to be so honestly blind to the follies and nonsense of others! Affectation of candour is common enough—one meets with it everywhere. But to be candid without ostentation or design—to take the good of everybody's character and make it still better, and say nothing of the bad—belongs to you alone. And so you like this man's sisters, too, do you? Their manners are not equal to his." 

"Certainly not—at first. But they are very pleasing women when you converse with them. Miss Bingley is to live with her brother, and keep his house; and I am much mistaken if we shall not find a very charming neighbour in her." 

Elizabeth listened in silence, but was not convinced; their behaviour at the assembly had not been calculated to please in general; and with more quickness of observation and less pliancy of temper than her sister, and with a judgement too unassailed by any attention to herself, she was very little disposed to approve them. They were in fact very fine ladies; not deficient in good humour when they were pleased, nor in the power of making themselves agreeable when they chose it, but proud and conceited. They were rather handsome, had been educated in one of the first private seminaries in town, had a fortune of twenty thousand pounds, were in the habit of spending more than they ought, and of associating with people of rank, and were therefore in every respect entitled to think well of themselves, and meanly of others. They were of a respectable family in the north of England; a circumstance more deeply impressed on their memories than that their brother's fortune and their own had been acquired by trade.

Oooh trade. Dirty. It's really quite revolting how the only people who count for anything don't actually do anything. This book takes pains to point out that people who do actually, you know, work for a living can be worth knowing and can be awesome people. But we're still only seeing a very small slice of the population, surely. Because the tradespeople that these characters are related to or know are still wealthy. The servants barely get names and nobody else even gets a look-in.

Mr. Bingley inherited property to the amount of nearly a hundred thousand pounds from his father, who had intended to purchase an estate, but did not live to do it. Mr. Bingley intended it likewise, and sometimes made choice of his county; but as he was now provided with a good house and the liberty of a manor, it was doubtful to many of those who best knew the easiness of his temper, whether he might not spend the remainder of his days at Netherfield, and leave the next generation to purchase. 

His sisters were anxious for his having an estate of his own; but, though he was now only established as a tenant, Miss Bingley was by no means unwilling to preside at his table—nor was Mrs. Hurst, who had married a man of more fashion than fortune, less disposed to consider his house as her home when it suited her. Mr. Bingley had not been of age two years, when he was tempted by an accidental recommendation to look at Netherfield House. He did look at it, and into it for half-an-hour—was pleased with the situation and the principal rooms, satisfied with what the owner said in its praise, and took it immediately.

 Does anyone know how old 'of age' is? I've tried the googles a few times with no luck. Is it 18? 21? Some other age that we no longer think counts for anything?

Between him and Darcy there was a very steady friendship, in spite of great opposition of character. Bingley was endeared to Darcy by the easiness, openness, and ductility of his temper, though no disposition could offer a greater contrast to his own, and though with his own he never appeared dissatisfied. On the strength of Darcy's regard, Bingley had the firmest reliance, and of his judgement the highest opinion. In understanding, Darcy was the superior. Bingley was by no means deficient, but Darcy was clever. He was at the same time haughty, reserved, and fastidious, and his manners, though well-bred, were not inviting. In that respect his friend had greatly the advantage. Bingley was sure of being liked wherever he appeared, Darcy was continually giving offense. 

The manner in which they spoke of the Meryton assembly was sufficiently characteristic. Bingley had never met with more pleasant people or prettier girls in his life; everybody had been most kind and attentive to him; there had been no formality, no stiffness; he had soon felt acquainted with all the room; and, as to Miss Bennet, he could not conceive an angel more beautiful. Darcy, on the contrary, had seen a collection of people in whom there was little beauty and no fashion, for none of whom he had felt the smallest interest, and from none received either attention or pleasure. Miss Bennet he acknowledged to be pretty, but she smiled too much. 

Mrs. Hurst and her sister allowed it to be so—but still they admired her and liked her, and pronounced her to be a sweet girl, and one whom they would not object to know more of. Miss Bennet was therefore established as a sweet girl, and their brother felt authorized by such commendation to think of her as he chose.

Read Along: Pride & Prejudice - Chapter 3

I'm trying a different thing today to distinguish between the text of the novel and my comments. Can you compare the first three Read Along chapters and let me know in the comments which you think is best? I'll then make a decision as to how I format the rest of the chapters :)

Chapter 3

Not all that Mrs. Bennet, however, with the assistance of her five daughters, could ask on the subject, was sufficient to draw from her husband any satisfactory description of Mr. Bingley. They attacked him in various ways—with barefaced questions, ingenious suppositions, and distant surmises; but he eluded the skill of them all, and they were at last obliged to accept the second-hand intelligence of their neighbour, Lady Lucas. Her report was highly favourable. Sir William had been delighted with him. He was quite young, wonderfully handsome, extremely agreeable, and, to crown the whole, he meant to be at the next assembly with a large party. Nothing could be more delightful! To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love; and very lively hopes of Mr. Bingley's heart were entertained. 

I guess that mayor from Flashdance had the same idea? I don't really know as I've never seen Flashdance.

"If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled at Netherfield," said Mrs. Bennet to her husband, "and all the others equally well married, I shall have nothing to wish for."

"If I get this one little thing... plus the same thing four more times then I'll be completely satisfied in life." Good work Mrs B, well played.

In a few days Mr. Bingley returned Mr. Bennet's visit, and sat about ten minutes with him in his library. He had entertained hopes of being admitted to a sight of the young ladies, of whose beauty he had heard much; but he saw only the father. The ladies were somewhat more fortunate, for they had the advantage of ascertaining from an upper window that he wore a blue coat, and rode a black horse. 

An invitation to dinner was soon afterwards dispatched; and already had Mrs. Bennet planned the courses that were to do credit to her housekeeping, when an answer arrived which deferred it all. Mr. Bingley was obliged to be in town the following day, and, consequently, unable to accept the honour of their invitation, etc.

 The physical copy I have and if I remember correctly, the first physical copy I ever got, has/had '&c' instead of 'etc' in the above paragraph (and everywhere else that the book has et cetera). I first read Pride and Prejudice when I was in hospital in my early teens (I had mysterious abdominal pains) (I still have them, yay) and also I didn't have the internet then so I couldn't look up what it meant. I did find it in a book once when I was looking at a book on typography and they were talking about the ampersand and how the & symbol was a squished together et which is 'and' in latin SO IT TURNS OUT &c and etc are the same thing. I thought it was just about the most awesome thing ever when I read about it so I wanted to mention it here and I am slightly disappointed that the online version of Pride and Prejudice has swapped out &c for etc. OH WELL, in the age of Wikipedia where you can find out Cool And Interesting Things super easily, I guess it isn't so awesome anyway.

Mrs. Bennet was quite disconcerted. She could not imagine what business he could have in town so soon after his arrival in Hertfordshire; and she began to fear that he might be always flying about from one place to another, and never settled at Netherfield as he ought to be.

SUPER BINGLEY

Lady Lucas quieted her fears a little by starting the idea of his being gone to London only to get a large party for the ball; and a report soon followed that Mr. Bingley was to bring twelve ladies and seven gentlemen with him to the assembly. The girls grieved over such a number of ladies, but were comforted the day before the ball by hearing, that instead of twelve he brought only six with him from London—his five sisters and a cousin. And when the party entered the assembly room it consisted of only five altogether—Mr. Bingley, his two sisters, the husband of the eldest, and another young man. 

Mr. Bingley was good-looking and gentlemanlike; he had a pleasant countenance, and easy, unaffected manners.

  I find it really interesting that people are frequently introduced in this book with a description of their countenance and manners. But I don't think I know what those things even mean here. WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED THAT I HAVE THE INTERNET.

coun·te·nance/ˈkountn-əns/

Noun:	A person's face or facial expression.
Verb:	Admit as acceptable or possible.
Synonyms:	noun.  face - visage - look - expression - mien - aspect verb.  support - favour - favor - uphold - tolerate

He had a pleasant look on his face. Aw!

Manners is trickier I guess because it's not a word that has almost totally dropped out of common usage. I know what manners are, obviously, but in this context I simply don't know what it means for someone to have manners that are 'easy and unaffected'. What do you think, faithful readers?

His sisters were fine women, with an air of decided fashion. His brother-in-law, Mr. Hurst, merely looked the gentleman; but his friend Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien, and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance, of his having ten thousand a year.

mien/mēn/

 

Noun:	A person's look or manner, indicating their character or mood.
Synonyms:	look - aspect - appearance - countenance - air - face

 Bingley has a 'pleasant countenance' and Darcy has a 'noble mien'. But watch out! It turns out a noble mien could also be a FORBIDDING, DISAGREEABLE COUNTENANCE.

The gentlemen pronounced him to be a fine figure of a man, the ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley, and he was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity; for he was discovered to be proud; to be above his company, and above being pleased; and not all his large estate in Derbyshire could then save him from having a most forbidding, disagreeable countenance, and being unworthy to be compared with his friend. 

I'm thoroughly entertained by there being so much discussion about people's facial expressions. Do we still do that? 

Mr. Bingley had soon made himself acquainted with all the principal people in the room; he was lively and unreserved, danced every dance, was angry that the ball closed so early, and talked of giving one himself at Netherfield. Such amiable qualities must speak for themselves. What a contrast between him and his friend! Mr. Darcy danced only once with Mrs. Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party. His character was decided. He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world, and everybody hoped that he would never come there again. Amongst the most violent against him was Mrs. Bennet, whose dislike of his general behaviour was sharpened into particular resentment by his having slighted one of her daughters. 

Elizabeth Bennet had been obliged, by the scarcity of gentlemen, to sit down for two dances; and during part of that time, Mr. Darcy had been standing near enough for her to hear a conversation between him and Mr. Bingley, who came from the dance for a few minutes, to press his friend to join it. 

"Come, Darcy," said he, "I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance." 

"I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with." 

"I would not be so fastidious as you are," cried Mr. Bingley, "for a kingdom! Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty." 

Bingley: Darce, you should dance, you look really stupid standing around.
Darcy: I don't like to dance with people I don't know very well, Bings, you know that.
Bingley: BUT THEY ARE SO PRETTY DARCY, LOOK AT THE PRETTY GIRLS

Kind of liking Darcy more than Bingley here, I have to say.

"You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room," said Mr. Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet.

The eldest Miss Bennet is Jane, beeteedubs. If you're the oldest (unmarried) you don't get/have to use your first name.

"Oh! She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you." 

"Which do you mean?" and turning round he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said: "She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me." 

Darcy: Sure whatever, I guess the girl you're dancing with is pretty. Good work pal
Bingley: Look there is one of her sisters, she's pretty too! You should totes dance with her
Darcy: Who? What okay NO WAIT I STILL DON'T WANT TO DANCE WITH A STRANGE PERSON DAMMIT GO AWAY.

Mr. Bingley followed his advice. Mr. Darcy walked off; and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings toward him. She told the story, however, with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous. 

The evening altogether passed off pleasantly to the whole family. Mrs. Bennet had seen her eldest daughter much admired by the Netherfield party. Mr. Bingley had danced with her twice, and she had been distinguished by his sisters. Jane was as much gratified by this as her mother could be, though in a quieter way. Elizabeth felt Jane's pleasure. Mary had heard herself mentioned to Miss Bingley as the most accomplished girl in the neighbourhood; and Catherine and Lydia had been fortunate enough never to be without partners, which was all that they had yet learnt to care for at a ball. They returned, therefore, in good spirits to Longbourn, the village where they lived, and of which they were the principal inhabitants. They found Mr. Bennet still up. With a book he was regardless of time; and on the present occasion he had a good deal of curiosity as to the event of an evening which had raised such splendid expectations. He had rather hoped that his wife's views on the stranger would be disappointed; but he soon found out that he had a different story to hear. 

"Oh! my dear Mr. Bennet," as she entered the room, "we have had a most delightful evening, a most excellent ball. I wish you had been there. Jane was so admired, nothing could be like it. Everybody said how well she looked; and Mr. Bingley thought her quite beautiful, and danced with her twice! Only think of that, my dear; he actually danced with her twice! and she was the only creature in the room that he asked a second time. First of all, he asked Miss Lucas. I was so vexed to see him stand up with her! But, however, he did not admire her at all; indeed, nobody can, you know; and he seemed quite struck with Jane as she was going down the dance. So he inquired who she was, and got introduced, and asked her for the two next. Then the two third he danced with Miss King, and the two fourth with Maria Lucas, and the two fifth with Jane again, and the two sixth with Lizzy, and the Boulanger—" 

Charlotte Lucas is so ugly that it's literally not possible for anyone to admire her. And hey Miss King is here and important enough that Mr Bingley gets introduced to and dances with her? Interesting. I don't think I've ever noticed Miss King here before. HI MISS KING.

"If he had had any compassion for me," cried her husband impatiently, "he would not have danced half so much! For God's sake, say no more of his partners. Oh that he had sprained his ankle in the first dance!" 

"Oh! my dear, I am quite delighted with him. He is so excessively handsome! And his sisters are charming women. I never in my life saw anything more elegant than their dresses. I dare say the lace upon Mrs. Hurst's gown—" 

Here she was interrupted again. Mr. Bennet protested against any description of finery. She was therefore obliged to seek another branch of the subject, and related, with much bitterness of spirit and some exaggeration, the shocking rudeness of Mr. Darcy. 

"But I can assure you," she added, "that Lizzy does not lose much by not suiting his fancy; for he is a most disagreeable, horrid man, not at all worth pleasing. So high and so conceited that there was no enduring him! He walked here, and he walked there, fancying himself so very great! Not handsome enough to dance with! I wish you had been there, my dear, to have given him one of your set-downs. I quite detest the man."